Different, Not Less

Yesterday, I wrote a post on Instagram and Facebook in response to the recent events that have been in the news highlighting racism towards the Asian American/Pacific Islander (AAPI) community. This racism is nothing new, but seems to have been exacerbated amid the pandemic as some people (who shall remain nameless, but we know who they are) have blamed the coronavirus on the Chinese, referring to it as the “Kung Fu Flu” or the “Wuhan Virus.” With these recent events, I can’t help but be concerned for the safety of my AAPI family and friends.

In my post, I also shared about my own struggles growing up and struggling with my racial identity and being biracial. As I’ve gotten older, call it maturity or wisdom, I’ve come to embrace my multicultural background and appreciate it along with the life experiences it’s provided me. It’s what started my love for traveling.

With my mom and sister visiting friends and family in South Korea

Growing up, I was the only mixed-race kid in my neighborhood, the only mixed-race kid in my elementary and middle school. Everyone hated the yearly state assessments we had to take in school, but I had another reason to hate them. At that time, you weren’t able to select more than one race. I was forced to pick one. My sister and I have had this conversation over the years: “Which one did you pick?” I always chose “White,” though that never fully described me. I was only 50% white…but I was also 50% Korean. I was afraid I’d look like a fraud if I selected “Asian” on the testing demographics form. I didn’t really look Asian. The usual response I get when someone finds out I’m half-Asian: “Oh yeah! Now I see it in your eyes!” <insert mental eye roll>.

The only time I didn’t feel like a fraud was when I was with my family. Interesting Fact: I have AAPI relatives on both sides of my family. While most know that my mother and her family are from South Korea, some may not realize that I also have several AAPI relatives on my dad’s side. Four of my dad’s eight sisters (you read that correctly, my dad is the oldest of 12 children) are Korean. My dad’s family are big advocates for adoption. My aunts are adopted…I have adopted cousins. My dad’s younger siblings also moved to Hawaii with my grandma and her husband (who happens to be Korean), some of them starting families of their own. I’ve never felt different around them because being diverse was loved and appreciated.

The last photo of all 12 kids together (my dad and all of his siblings) with my grandma in the middle—guessing this was taken in the ‘90s?

It wasn’t until high school that I started hanging out with others that weren’t white or weren’t my family. My high school had a multicultural fair every year to celebrate diversity. This is one of my fondest high school memories…seeing the main hallway filled with tables representing all of the various countries and heritages that made up its diverse student population, watching the fashion show, and cheering on friends in the talent show. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have attended my high school, as it played a big part in starting to love and embrace my own multicultural heritage.

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After yesterday’s social media post, I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support, but was also surprised by the amount of people that reached out wanting to know more specifically on how to support biracial and multiracial children growing up so they hopefully don’t experience the same struggle.

While there are a ton of books out there geared towards biracial children who come from African American and Caucasian parents, there aren’t as many books depicting other mixed-race families. (Anyone want to write a book with me?! As if I don’t have enough to keep me busy, lol.). I’ve pulled together a list of some of books that are out there highlighting multiracial families and diversity, as well as some resources to help families navigate the conversation and teach their children to embrace their diversity and multicultural backgrounds (again, there’s not a ton out there…so definitely an area of need for anyone interested in starting something).

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Books

If your toddler is like mine, Sesame Street is always a big hit. This book by Bobbi Kates has all your favorite Sesame Street characters and highlights how we may look different on the outside, but we’re all the same on the inside.

This book depicts all different types of families, including multicultural families, same-sex parents, and single parent families. There’s no right or wrong family configuration.

This book made me giggle a little mostly because after all these years, my dad still can’t eat with chopsticks. I wish I would’ve read this as a child. A young couple secretly learns each other’s way of eating.

This recommendation is dedicated to my ohana in Hawaii. The book, set in Oahu, follows a young girl celebrating the New Year with her multiracial family.

This cute book follows a little boy who learns to embrace and love his diverse background—Filipino and Irish. Great for helping young ones learn to navigate the “What are you?” question.

While this New York Times bestseller doesn’t necessarily focus on a family, I love the message of embracing diversity and inclusion. Not only will you see characters of different ethnicities, but also students with disabilities all being loved and embraced at school. “All are welcome here.”

Another one that doesn’t necessarily talk about multicultural families, but does embrace and celebrate diversity.

This book by Kathleen Lacapa and Michael Lacapa follows a young boy as he learns to embrace being biracial—part Native American, part Caucasian. Being multiracial doesn’t make you less than.

This book highlights the Loving v. Virginia case that legalized interracial marriages. It’s hard to imagine that only about 60 years ago, interracial marriages were against the law. While we’ve come a long way, there’s still so much room for growth.

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Resources

Families Embracing Diversity has tons of tips for raising multicultural children.

Mixed Up Mama is a blog focusing on mixed-heritage families.

Campfire Crates has different activities and books meant to help children learn and embrace different heritages. Their blog also has some great tips on raising multicultural children.t

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“Diversity is not about how we differ. Diversity is about embracing one another’s uniqueness.”

— Ola Joseph

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If you have any additional resources or book recommendations, please share! My hope is that this will spark conversation in your homes, and help us all to embrace diversity and teach kindness. And please check in on your AAPI family, friends, and neighbors. We need to support one another.

#stopAAPIhate #stopasianhate #loveoneanother

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